Fresh Start

The fire was already raging when Billy Todd decided to toss on another palette. Blazing embers rose into the cool evening air - tendrils of fiery light dancing toward a cloudless, darkening sky where the night?s first star was making its appearance.?Happy Spring Equinox, everybody!?I was unsure who shouted the salutation, but the entire crowd cheered in approval, raising their glasses toward the indifferent mountain peaks covered in winter?s snow.Three days earlier, I was enjoying a bourbon and water at Digger?s bar when Billy sat down on the barstool next to me and gave me a friendly slap on the back.?Are you coming out to Escape Point for the equinox party on Saturday???Who?s going to be there??Billy pulled a Marlboro Red cigarette from his ear and lit it. ?C?mon, Nick. Mandy moved out-of-town six months ago.??That?s not why I?m asking,? I said, frustrated. ?I don?t want to be the creepy guy in his fifties at a party filled with kids in their twenties.?Billy rolled his eyes, ?Dude, I?m thirty-two!??I still have twenty years on you.??Look man, I?m your friend,? Billy said, putting his hand on my shoulder. ?Mandy?s been out of your life for over a year. She moved out-of-town back in September! You gotta get back on the horse or you really are going to get old.??I?ll think about it.?Billy removed his hand from my shoulder and took a long drag on his Marlboro. ?Alright, Nick. Look, man, for what it?s worth, I miss Mandy too. But she did you wrong. What better time to get a fresh start than at a spring equinox party in middle-of-nowhere Alaska??I knew what Billy meant. Seasonal workers start rolling into town around the end of February. They?re mostly younger college kids trying to make some money or society dropouts hoping for some thrills and adventure in the Last Frontier. In other words, the equinox party was all about hooking up.Feeling a hand on my back, I turned to see Billy standing above me with a beer in one hand and a hatchet in the other. ?Good to see you, buddy,? he said, leaning down close enough to whisper in my ear, ?See anything you like???This beer I'm drinking.?Billy reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a small jar of brown liquid, and shoved it into my free hand.?Fresh starts, buddy.?As Billy walked away, I opened the jar. Assuming it was homemade moonshine, I drank it like a shot and chased it with what was left of my beer.Most of the partygoers moved down to the beach to watch the moon rise over Halcyon Peak. A few ventured into the woods to smoke a joint. Sitting alone by the fire, my mind wandered Ankara escort two years back in time.Mandy was walking in the front door of our house after a day working at the local bank. She was one of the few women in town required to dress like a professional, which meant she wore stockings, heels, and all sorts of other things that make a woman stand out in a small Alaskan town.Earlier that day, a small bird had flown into our living room window. When I went outside to check on it, it was lying on the ground twitching. Not wanting a cat or another bird to get it, I ran inside the house looking for something I could use to keep the bird safe while trying to revive it.Our bedroom closet was full of Mandy?s empty shoeboxes. I took one out of the stack, lined it with tissue paper, went outside, and collected the bird. After an hour or so, the bird sat upright and accepted some water to drink but it still didn?t look quite right.By the time Mandy was walking in the door, the small bird was eating pieces of bread from my hand. Mandy sat down next to me and put her arm around me while I told her the story.?You?re a good man,? she said before getting up to change clothes.Some months later I would find out that Mandy?s affair started a few days before I rescued the little bird.As the last of the sun?s light faded from view, moonlight bathed the mountains in an eerie glow. The revelers on the beach became nothing more than silhouettes against the sparkling waters of the fjord. Meanwhile, the campfire settled into a slow burn, cracking and popping as the flames of time turned living wood into ash.Attempting to stand, I wondered why I felt dizzy after only drinking a few beers. Then I remembered the moonshine and decided to take a walk. Doing my best to avoid anyone and everyone, I stumbled toward the beach, away from where the crowd had gathered. It was low tide. Delicate shells crunching beneath my feet reminded me of breaking glass.My eyes quickly adjusted. The moonlight was bright enough to see by, even though it cast a dull light that illuminated the entire backdrop in a blue-gray hue. I heard the grunt of a sea lion in the distance. Then I looked up at the moon and watched it dissolve into a spiral vortex of sound and color.Feeling a bit nauseous, I sat down on a nearby log that had washed up on the beach.I thought to myself, What the hell did Billy put in that moonshine?Closing my eyes, I concentrated on calming my nerves until every thought and feeling was nothing more than a burning Ankara escort bayan ember rising toward the sky only to disappear into the cool night air.?Mind if I join you??The words were like a sudden jolt of electricity. It was a woman?s voice, unfamiliar, with a hint of a southern accent. After forcing my eyes to open, I did my best to focus on the feminine form that stood before me. The task proved difficult because the woman was surrounded by a radiant purple light that seemed to undulate and pulse.Backlit by moonlight, her features were nothing more than faint outlines. She was barely five feet tall with a petite frame and celestial curves borne from the elemental forces of earth itself. For a moment, she took on the form of a nymph that had stumbled out of the woods only to encounter some strange man sitting alone in the dark.Once again, I remembered the "moonshine."Get a hold of yourself, Nick. You?re fucked up.The moment of clarity brought me back to reality. Gesturing to the empty space next to me on the log, I said, ?Not at all, go right ahead.?After sitting down, the moonlight revealed the face of a young woman, maybe eighteen or nineteen years old.?I?m Mara,? she said. ?It?s so beautiful here. I just got in on the ferry today. Are you here for the summer???Well, I am, but I also live here. My name is Nick??Oh my god! You?re the first local I?ve met. I?m from Tennessee. I came here with my friend Susie. She was here last summer and convinced me to tag along this summer.??What do you do back in Tennessee???I graduated high school last year and I?m still trying to decide what I?m going to do with my life.?It was a common story. Alaska has always been a place for wanderers. For some, it?s a place to disappear entirely.Then I remembered Billy?s words to me by the fire? Fresh starts, buddy.?So you?re looking for a fresh start,? I said. ?Me too.?Meanwhile, I felt a wave of euphoria growing like a ball of energy in my belly. Before it hit, I felt as though I owed this young woman an explanation.?Listen, Mara? Full disclosure? I drank some moonshine that I'm thinking wasn't moonshine, so if I say something...?Mara cut me off, ?I drank some too, which is why I wandered over to this end of the beach. I don?t like crowds.??Me either,? I said, strangely relieved. ?But you may have more fun hanging out with them than an old man.?Mara laughed as though I?d told the funniest joke in the world. I wasn?t sure if she was laughing at me or at what I said, but she was so cute and sexy that Escort Ankara I started cracking up along with her.?You?re not old!? Mara said, playfully shoving my shoulder.?Well, thanks, but I?m pretty sure the moonshine has entirely clouded your cognitive abilities.?Mara laughed again. ?You?re funny. Do all Alaskan men have a good sense of humor???I'm serious! You can?t see my face in this moonlight but I?m fifty-two years old!?Without missing a beat, Mara said, ?Nick, you can?t see numbers in the moonlight or the sunlight.?Hearing the words made me feel good about myself. Then I realized that I hadn?t felt really good in a long time. I needed to move before dark thoughts could creep into my whirling mind.?Well, in that case, would you like to take a walk with me??Mara jumped up without saying a word and reached out toward me with both hands. Taking them in mine, she pulled me up off the log and we walked further down the beach. The tide was swiftly rising. As the water spilled into the grooves and contours of the sand, it appeared as though it was alive and reaching for our feet.Mara told me a story about leaving home to come to Alaska. How she threw a going-away party at her apartment and invited all of her friends. Only three showed up.She added, ?I was sad at first, but I realized that a person is probably lucky to have three good friends.?A little further up the beach, I saw a strange-looking piece of seaweed in the sand. Thinking it was bull kelp, I reached down and picked it up. The seaweed came to life in my hand, writhing back and forth in an attempt to coil around my fingers. Then I realized it was an eel.?Holy Jesus!? I exclaimed before throwing it out into the ocean.Mara thought this was the funniest thing she had ever seen. She laughed so hard that she fell backward onto the wet ground, which made her laugh even harder.Also laughing, I did my best to quickly help Mara up off the sandy beach. She wrapped her arms around my neck and said, ?My butt?s wet.?The top of Mara?s head only came up to my neck. She stared up at me, a little wobbly on her feet. I gently rested my hands on her hips to hold her steady. I could feel her heat radiating up onto my face.The pale moonlight was strong enough to cast shadows but not powerful enough to reveal any colors other than pale blue, silvers, and grays. Yet somehow, Mara?s eyes glowed as though they were on fire.Mara must have sensed my wonder, and asked, ?What are you thinking???Your eyes?? I said. ?I swear I can see what color they are.??Tell me.??They?re hazel. Almost golden in color but the left one has more green than the right. They look like they?re on fire.? I paused. ?And they?re beautiful.?Saying the words sent another wave of euphoria through my body, which I realized was pressing against a woman?s body for the first time in more than a year.